Endings And Beginnings
by Darkened Past
Summary: Story Redone! All chapters will be CHANGED! Hellmouth is closed. Buffy Closed It. Faith was in jail. Now she is out with the help of Angel. How will her new life affect her, and the Scoobies...
1. Gotta Start Somewhere

Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS Or Angel, all rights reserved Joss Whedon (GOD) yadda yadda yadda

Rating: Well, I dunno how this works now, so I'm gonna go with the highest, just to be safe.

Pairing: Faith/Buffy – They are meant to be.

Notes: This fic has been updated, certain aspects will be different; don't just jump to the last chapter. I just didn't like where the fic was headed. As always, All reviews are welcome, including constructive crit, how can I improve without it?

Setting: Takes Place After and Alternate Season 7.

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Gotta Start Somewhere**_

**Stockton Correctional Facility**

**Faiths POV**

The darkness of my past dims the brightness of my future, I am alone, again, I look at my past and see all the hurt I have inflicted and don't see a way to make it better, its always there, not going to go away, no matter what I do to "redeem" my self.

There faces are always going to be there, at the back of my mind and everyone else's mind. I know that my past is always there and it's always going to haunt me, but, I would rather try to help the world apposed to being locked up all day.

The last run-down I received from Soul-boy was that Buffy succeeded in closing the Hellmouth, for good, and that was almost 6 months ago. Damn. What I wouldn't have done to be there for that fight!

Fang doesn't talk much of B anymore. I don't pry; I guess that goes with the Brooding Vamp thing.

"Wilkins, you got a visitor" An obnoxious guard named Carl pulls me out of my thoughts, the only visitor's I get are Angel and Cordy, and that special tingle gives me the feeling that its Angel.

Still lost in my thoughts I realize that at my special little booth it is not just Angel, there is another guy, an executive type guy. Just incase you didn't realize, me and exec's don't generally see eye to eye.

There is something about his guy though, he seems kind of… I don't know… edgy? Nervous? He readjusts his tie and pushes his black rim glasses closer to his face. He kinda reminds me of Clark Kent, in a bumbling but smart kinda way, from the black hair, the piercing blue eyes and sturdy chin, to the full black pin stripe suit, hiding what looks like a pretty good body. What? Its been years!

I realize with embarrassment that I have been just standing, looking at this guy for close to 10 seconds, I shake myself out of my reverie. Making eye contact with Angel as I sit down and pick up the phone, he does the same.

"Hey Angel"

"Faith, how are you doing?"

"Oh ya know five by five, 3 meals a day, a roof over my head, could be worse. What's up?" I hold eye contact and nod towards our Clark Kent-esq friend.

"Faith, this is Kalum Christenson, he is an associate of mine, and your new lawyer"

Huh, he doesn't seem like a scum bag lawyer, but, hey, I have been wrong before. I guess Angel wouldn't of brought him here is he was dirt.

"Kalum?" I raise my eyebrow at him in a question to which he nods "Not that I don't appreciate company, but, what's the what?" I'm not a scholar or nothing, everything I have learnt has been the hard way, so when Angel comes in unexpectedly with a non scummy lawyer, ya gotta figure, something is up.

He takes the phone from Angel and nervously starts.

"Faith, pleasure you finally meet you" He smiles at me, I think he is waiting for me to reply, I smirk at him, yeah, I'm sure it is.

"I'm here as a representative of the new Watchers Guild" My cockiness and smirk automatically replaced by boiling rage. Hang on. Guild? My confusion and apparent anger livens Angel, as he reaches for the phone

"Hear him out Faith" The look he is giving me is reinforcing that, but who am I to listen?

"Fuck no Angel. What the fuck are _you_ doing, of all people, bringing council?" Then it hits me, _"Faith, this is Kalum Christenson, he is an associate of mine". _Angel works for the Council?

"Angel what the fuck is going on?" I ask more shocked and surprised than angry

"The council has disbanded, with the Watchers Guild now taking its place. The Guild is now situated all around the world, Kalum is from the L.A Branch, He is the most successful lawyer we have, and answers directly to me."

Ok I hear the words but they don't make sense, Angel, a vampire with a soul is in charge of the Los Angeles Branch of the council, Guild, whatever, the council's slogan being 'Kill the ones with fangs' this so don't make sense. Oh shit, they are still talking.

I make eye contact with Kalum, and gesture for him to start again

"Faith, what we are trying to tell you is some strings have been pulled by the head of the Watchers Guild. You are free to leave"

"You playing with me?" I will not get my hopes up; I look at Angel, who gives me a sly grin

"Would I do that Faith?"

Free? No more communal showers? No more guards trying to get touchy. No more horrible Sunday movies! I can sleep in. I can SLAY!

This is too much, something, something doesn't fit right.

"Ok so what's the catch?"

**To Be Continued.**

**I will be reposting all already added chapters within the next few weeks, keep reading, there will be some changes!**


	2. Getting To Know You Again

Pairing: Faith/Buffy – They are meant to be.

Notes: This fic has been updated, certain aspects will be different; I just didn't like where the fic was headed. So, I am going chapter to chapter updating it.  
As always, All reviews are welcome, including constructive crit, how can I improve without it?

Setting: Takes Place After and Alternate Season 7.

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Getting To Know You…. Again….**_

**Wesley's Car – 3 weeks later**

**Faiths POV**

Have you ever dreamt you were someone else? That everything that was bad in your life, just suddenly went away? Well that's what the past 2 weeks have been like. The Tall and Broody one came through on his promise, I left Prison at the end of the week, the catch?

Well up until now I have been working with Angel and the 'Guild', never gonna get used to calling it that. Wicked set up he got there though, the new office in L.A is the Old Wolfram & Hart building, Those Lawyers went down hard last year when Angel "Disposed" Of the Head of the whole company.

When the council went down in blazes, the surviving members were looking for someone to start the Organisation again, a new organisation though, one set in the 21st century….

Entrance Giles, Yep, head of the Watchers Guild. Giles then approached Angel to head up the LA branch.

I finally found out the 411 on Buffy and the Slayer-Wannabees. The Prodigal slayer put down The First Evil, Wicked cool story. The first evil right, he could take on the form of any dead dude? Well after our Buffy died and was resurrected, for a second time that is, that gave her the one up on him. She invoked him as well as the essence of all past slayer's; using some ancient Axe thing-a-majig, in the end he went down hard core.

But, always a but, Buffy is left drained and as Giles says "In a severe case of shock" she got the whole 'can barely walk thing' happening and her Slayer Healing powers are taking way to long to kick in, along with that, Spike's soul drove him insane and he walked himself into Mr Pointy, Leaving Sunnydale down 2 superheroes.

Even though killing the first closed the Hellmouth, there are still crazed assholes out there who want to Re-Open it, That My Friend, is the catch.

I am, as we speak, on my way back to Sunnydale. The town I very near helped destroy. Oh happy days. On the plus side though, at least I get paid for it now.

"Faith, Are you ready?" Wesley asks. What would he say if I said 'Na', what with that oh so familiar 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign we just passed not so long again, what's he going to do? Turn the car around and drive me back.

Me and Wes are, strange, he is a different guy now, kinda dark and broody, that'd probably be Angels influence, but, since I have been out, he has actually helped a lot, and we have formed some kind of working relationship.

After I was released things weren't all sunshine and happiness ya know? I mean, its still been a great few weeks, but I s'pose I was in shock, and then seeing Wes, kinda freaked me out, after I bit the bullet and apologised to him, instead of telling me to get fucked, or that its too late, he just smiled and said 'I'm quite sure it wasn't all your fault', and left it at that. Damn Brits. He has been training me and teaching me more about the Slayer line and where the new Guild wants to go ever since.

I shake my head out of my thoughts and nod at him

"Yeah Wes, I'll be five by five." Somehow he knows I'm lying, putting up a false bravado.

He stares straight ahead with a little grin on his face.

"I'm sure you will be fine Faith, You are after all The Slayer, One to each Generation…" I roll my eyes; I can tell this will go on for a while unless I stop him

"Ya mean 3 right? 3 slayers to this generation, Buffy, Kendra and Me" I smirk at him, he hates it when I do that, although the Council is long gone and Wes is a little more on the wild side these days, he is still insanely passionate about what he does

"Well yes, apparently so, but it is still a sacred duty Faith, you of all people know how dark the world can be without hope, and that's what Kendra, and Buffy, I suppose, Died for. Hope." He looks at me, to see if what he is saying is sinking in, trying to move me in some way, trying to make sure I don't run back to the dark side.

"Yeah, I know Wes, No pressure or nothin" I stretch and start my muscles moving as we pull up to 1630 Revello Drive, waiting out the front is a few friends, can anyone say 'Welcome Back To The Hellmouth Faith'

As the car comes to a stop, I grab my stake and jump out of the car, Wesley in toe.

"What's this? A Welcome Party, for little ole me? You Guys shouldn't have?"

My words stun the group of 3 Vampires momentarily, providing me with enough of an advantage to stake the first one. The second one (Presumably the ring leader) then turns and attacks me with a flying spin kick followed by a foot sweep, both which I avoid.

"Come on! I forgot how _weak_ you Sunnydale Vamps really are!" shouldn't have spoken so soon, as I say it "WHAM" kicked straight in the head. Before the Vamp can attack me again I spring to my feet and presume my fighting stance.

"Lucky shot arsehole" I sneer as he blocks my left hook

"There is no luck when you are concerned, I have heard about you"

"So the welcome party analogy wasn't that far off, wicked" I know what he is doing, he is trying to psyche me out, once upon a time that may have worked, A well timed leg sweep has me straddling him with a stake teasing his chest

"You are the Dark Slayer, your only use is for killing, and lets face it, you aren't that good anyway"

I yawn as I bring the stake home "Well, good enough to kill you, and that'll do for now"

I immediately remember that we weren't alone, Damn It! Always mind your surroundings Faith. My internal bashing is interrupted by vamp number 3 getting pushed into a tree and staked by Wesley, I laugh as I realise how much he actually has changed.

"Well Faith…" Wes smirks as he brushes his hands off "Welcome to Sunnydale!" I can't help but let out a little laugh, Yep, Seems like I'm home.

"Yeah, Thanks Wes. You handled your self good out there"

"Yes, well working along side Angel has taught me a few tricks." He laughs lightly and nods towards the door, "Are you ready?" Its more of a statement than a question, I have no choice, I have to help Buffy, and I have to protect the World.

I sigh "No time like the present, you coming with?"

"I'm afraid not Faith, This is your journey, Good Luck and Take Care"

"Yeah I guess so, later, oh and Wesley?" I cringe as he turns around, I'm not all good with the touchy feely yet.

"Yes Faith?" He questions

"Thanks, for, err, everything I mean" He slightly smiles at me

"Anytime" and that's it, he is striding back towards the car, not even looking back, I watch as he starts the car and proceeds to disappear from my sight.

I sigh again and ultimately lose my show down with the Summer's residence front door. I lift my arm to knock on the door as it suddenly swings open with an all grown up Dawn Staring at me, raised eyebrow and all.

"Hey Short-Stuff, Or not so short Stuff" Shit she has grown; she is nearly as tall as me.

"Oh Faith... Hi!" She looks kinda disappointed but covers it well "I thought you were the Pizza" well that explains it, I'd be disappointed too.

"Nope, no Pizza here just me, choc full of Faith-y Goodness, Ya mind if I come in?" I question as I point to the kitchen area

"Yeah come in, Willow and Xander are expecting you" As I follow her into the house it's like walking into a time warp, I swear I'm still that little smart arsed slayer with a hatred for the world.

"Hey Guys" I smile at Red and Xander, ok where'd all these butterflies come from, Red has grown, and she actually looks kinda hot. And Xander, well, looks pissed at me, can't say I blame him.

"Faith how was Jail? Killed anyone today?" Ouch down boy

"Jail was just peachy thanks for the concern, and No people yet, trying to refrain from that, nasty habit, but I managed to stake a couple of vamps who were hangin out the front of the house, what's that about Red?"

"Ah you know, they hear Buff is all powerless and want to take her on, don't worry, we'll talk about it later, I will show you to your room and get you settled in first" wow she is actually smiling at me. This might not be so bad

"Thanks Willow, By the way, what's the go on the new Watcher? When do I meet her? Is she as stuffy as Giles and Wes? Evil? Do I have to watch my back?"

"Oh, you will meet her soon enough, and no, not evil, nothing like Giles and Wesley, but she is pretty smart" She is kinda grinning at me now.

"OK?" I ask confused "What's her deal? Name? Age?"

"She is a Wicca, about your age, not so much with the stuffy, red hair, goes by the name Willow" She nods at me concluding her speech

OK jaw needs to be picked up off the ground now.

"Disappointed?" she asks

"You Kiddin? Hell no! Willow the watcher! That's awesome!"

**TBC **

More to come


	3. Welcome To Disapointment

Thanks For all the reviews guys, muchly appreciated! In this chapter I am going to Introduce Buffy's point of view, Also I'm going to introduce flashbacks denoted by italics and /flashback/ and /end flashback/

**_Chapter 3_**

_**Welcome To Disapointment**_

**Faiths POV**

2 Days Later

That old gut instinct to run is kicking in right about now, I mean so far it has been good, Willow and myself have hit it off quick, I s'pose she understands me a little more now, what with the whole Tara thing. I never did meet her, well in my body anyway, but she seemed pretty cool, a little shy, but obviously Red fell for her hard.

Buffy and I haven't had a chance to have tea and cookies yet, she had to go on one of those Slayer Quest things, hoping that it would help her discover why she is still struggling, she's coming back today and given the reception I have received from Xander, and Dawns obvious avoidance of me, I can't say I'm looking forward to it. Hence, run.

Its not like I haven't tried, I did try and have a talk with Xander, but damn it, it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. It just seems that, no matter what I do, how much I try to show them I have changed how much I apologise…. I just guess I keep fucking it up….

And that is why I try to stay out of their way; I stay in my room, the basement, until I'm called on. It's a pretty good set up down here, single bed, TV, sink, microwave for them 3am hungrys, and the best bit, my own punching bag and weight set.

As I stand here, taking out all my frustration on the punching bag, I can't help but think of my talk with Xander, I just don't know how I am gonna make that better….

/Flashback/

_I walk past the lounge room again, Xander has been here for close to an hour and no words have been spoken, he just sits there, with what looks like an old Superman Comic, reading it over and over again. No time like the present eh? I back track and take a seat in the arm chair near him, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible._

"_Xander, err, I think we needa talk." He stops reading his comic and gives me a look, that should be warning enough, the look screams 'I'm not gonna listen', but I needa say this. "I'm sorry. About everything I done back then, I was totally screwed up and instead of letting you guys help me, or even asking for help, I screwed you all." A smile comes to my face as I think of what I just said, and how I know, right now, he is thinking about we did, and then what I did to him._

"_I was a jerk, to say the least, but before that I thought you were a pretty wicked guy and if there is anything I can do to make up for it, consider it done" I finish with what I hope is a genuine smile_

"_Anything?" he asks incredulously "Hows about leaving Sunnydale and never coming back, **or**, how about, going back a few years and never trying to use or kill us all? No, but I forgive ya Faith, I mean, that was one 'nifty' speech just now." His sarcasm is evident and I am finding it incredibly hard to control my temper_

"_You know what Xander? I deserve all that and plenty more but I am here for a reason, this is my job and Red is **my** watcher. So, welcome to disappointment son, I'm here to stay!" I stand up and go to walk to the basement, but the idiot in me, stops and turns to him again_

"_I don't expect you to forgive me but I did expect you to have grown up a little and realise that in this world, things aren't as simple as Black and White, I have to live with what I have done for the rest of my life, you don't! I realise that no matter how many times I say I'm sorry it isn't going to fix it, but saying sorry, that's for me" for the first time in so long I feel tears stinging my eyes, the anger and walls I spent so long hiding behind, a distant memory._

"_Ya done?" He sneers at me_

"_You know what Xander? Get fucked!" with that he starts reading his comic again as I storm down the basement stairs, tape up my hand, and start pounding the punching bag_

_/End Flashback/_

"Faith? You down here?" I hear Dawn call as she makes her way down the basement steps, please, for the sake of my sanity, don't be here to piss me off more.

"Hey Kiddo, sorry, I was lost in my own head, not a pretty place to be, what can I do ya for?"

She stands in front of me, nearly at my eye height, looking nervous and cute as hell. I've always had a soft spot for this kid, and as she has aged, damn, she is looking pretty hot, must be them damn Summer's genes.

"I missed that you know?" she says almost coyly "You calling me Kiddo." She smiles at me in an act I think she purposely used to let me know she isn't gonna bitch me out.

"And I missed calling you Kiddo." I nod and smile at her "Now what's the what?"

"Faith, I heard you and Xander before, and I just want to tell you that in my books, you're forgiven. You were at a low point, and yes, you did some really messed up things, but you rose above it, I missed you, and it's good to have you home" As she says it she turns around, about to ascend the stairs once more.

"Dawnie?" I jog over to her and place my hand on her arm. "Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me" As she looks up at me, smiling, I do something so un-Faith like, that it scares both of us. I pull her into a hug.

After a few minutes of her resting her head against my shoulder, I pull away

"That's enough sap for one day, let's go upstairs before they think I have killed you"

**Buffy's POV**

Ok so I knew it was being arranged for Faith to be released, I just didn't think it would be so soon, she is at my house right now. I can't say that I don't hate her anymore, but after everything that has happened I feel a weird closeness to her, like never before and I haven't even seen her yet.

Its just…..just……AGH, This is me, Buffy "The Slayer" Summers, even when Faith was around the first time, I was still "The Slayer".

I've had to adapt my whole life to suit that and now, well now Faith has been released because I just don't cut it anymore? My strength is all screwy; but getting stronger by the day, but what happens if Faith flips it? Tries to kill everyone again? I won't be able to _protect_ them!

I am just your average girl now, something I have wanted for so long, but now that it's gone, the power, the responsibility, the very thing I have spent 7 years learning to live with, I would do anything to have it back. Who am I without being Buffy, The Vampire Slayer?

I let out an audible sigh, as I postpone opening my own front door, the neighbours might start to ask questions if I just sit here and stare at my front door all night.

I unlock the door and kinda stumble through and nearly trip over my own feet. God, I'm so hopeless. I can feel Faith, I know she is here and I know she is close; I get this…..this…..this I don't know? Sense, like a buzzing feeling, a vampire tingle, only good, nice, comforting, everything Faith isn't.

I'm scared; I fear what this confrontation will bring? I'm so angry that she can make me feel so weak, weaker than I already am.

My anger begins to increase rapidly and I haven't felt so alive in a long time, anger does that to you, makes you feel, like a wash of these emotions all working together all plotting against one thing, it changes everything, not only you but the people around you, they see you tense and relax all at the same time, they see the conflicts of emotions and they see the resolve and they act on that, they run, hide, yell and scream but it doesn't make a difference because it is about you and in the end all you're left with is anger, no logic, no love, just anger. In your life you will have loved and lost so much that you are almost incapable of feeling love anymore. You guard yourself and surround yourself with a sea of anger and despair and passion till you are no longer capable to love, to accept, to be…

And in all my thoughts I nearly run into her, she looks like she is in a hurry to leave and all of a sudden the confusion I was feeling at seeing her, is replaced with that anger again.

"Faith" I say her name through gritted teeth and in this moment I know, I will always be "The Slayer" no matter what, it's just me

"Buffy, Hi" its funny she seems so scared of me and she knows I'm weak.

And suddenly there is fear again, Faith, running out of the house, after a quick scan on my house, my family and friends are no where to be seen. What has she done?

"Where are they!" I ask. As I step too close into her personal space, my senses are attacked by all things Faith, the smell of Chocolate, smoke and sweat. My eyes burning holes through hers, exploring, finding, searching.

"Who is where?" She looks honestly confused and that is quickly replaced by hurt as she realises what I am asking.

"Oh, out back." She says and points through the kitchen, slightly brushing past me through the front door.

As I register what just happened, I realise something, 'Damn, I may have just fucked up', I didn't even give her a chance, but, does she deserve it?

**TBC**

**Thank you to my lovely reviewers, and as I said, feedback is our friend! Let me know what you like, what you hate, and how you think I can improve.**


	4. Looking Back On Today

Thanks for all the reviews guys, any review is a good review. Even if it's a bad review… I think that's right…

**_Chapter 4_**

_**Looking Back On Today**_

**Buffy's POV**

Sometimes, I forget that Faith and I share such a massive connection, and that all the hate we felt, or feel, for each other could easily be something else, and it's that something else that scares me. Now, years later, when I see her I get this immense surge of passion, I always have and that is where I think we go wrong, well me anyway, I channel it and make myself hate her because the alternative, always was, and still is, just scary.

But who knows? Maybe, if all those years ago Angel wasn't around, the resentment wasn't around, and, you know, she didn't try to kill us all; we may have been the best of friends, or even more. I don't regret it though, all those feelings, the hatred, the passion, I mean I regret my actions to a point, but who is to say that all this wasn't part of the "big plan", that with Faith and me fighting for so long, it only makes way for this great event? But then again, I could be looking for an out.

And then it dawns on me, I think _way_ too much. When did that happen?

I sigh audibly and then cringe as I notice I'm not alone, my family surround me, continuing to try and make me feel "welcomed" in my own home. What makes it worse is that it's all small talk, I mean, I don't mind small talk, small talk can be good, like if you're talking about small things, but we aren't talking about small things, we are doing the 'OK Awkward' small talk.

"So, how long till we get rid of Faith?" That's Xander with the million dollar question; I don't think he will like the answer though.

I look to Willow; I know I'm not fielding this question. She actually looks kinda mad, and somehow I doubt this isn't the first 'Faith related discussion' they have had.

"Xander, Faith is under _my_ care, she is my first charge, so if she is leaving, I'm kinda going with her. I know you resent her Xander, and Buffy after today I know that you still have issues with her, and honestly, I'm ashamed of you both, I thought we all got over that phase." She silences Xander as he is about to interject, he doesn't get what she is saying yet, but I do

"What is the difference between what Faith has done, and what I have done?" Xander seems disgusted at Willow likening herself to Faith, and all that does is fuel his rage.

"Will, there is a difference! You were grieving! Faith just went Psycho!" Will scoffs at him now

"You can't be serious, Xander, I thought you were supposed to be the heart and that one that can see everything? If you don't think Faith was suffering, well, you just aren't that smart. Anyone who step's away from the belief that Faith is evil, for just one second, can see that."

That shut Xander up pretty quickly; he looks hurt and a little confused. I don't think Willow gets how much Faith hurt him, it was his first time, and he thought it was special. Turns out, he was the cure to her itch. That has got to hurt the boy.

"Wills, hate to be all pessimist girl, but how can you be so sure she has changed?" She looks at me, kinda sadly, but I press on "Is there something you know that we don't? Sharing is caring?" I finish and with a smile

"Honestly, I have no inside information about Faith. But I have had the time to sit and talk to her, about everything. I spoke to Giles, Wes and Angel, and they're all quite sure of her, and even Cordy was sticking up for her, and you know Cordelia, she won't say something nice if she doesn't believe it. Just please, take the time to sit and talk with her, on _her_ level."

"On her level, Will? I will _never_ be on her level, I don't quite cut it as a….." Xander stops himself before continuing, we all know what he was going to say though. How he could even think of saying _that,_ is beyond me.

If I knew Will wasn't reformed, I would swear she would be about ready to go all black eyed and nasty

"As what Xander!" She semi yells as she stands up "Say It! You don't quite cut it as a what? As a murderer? A Psycho?" He looks like he has been hit across the head with, I don't know, something heavy, and Will? well Will looks like she is going to do a mix between cry and attack him.

"Will." Xander's entire demeanour softens "You know I didn't mean that." I don't think he did mean to insult Will, but I know he definitely meant to insult Faith, and that unnerves me somehow. S'pose its time for me to step in…

"Xander, Listen, you know Faith and I don't get classed in the Friends category, but Will is my best friend, and yours too, so if she believes in Faith, I will give her a shot"

Where once was softness, there is boiling rage again. Will on the other hand, looks almost proud of me.

"WHAT? Are you joking? She is a psycho!" Sometimes, I just don't think the boy gets it.

"You know what Xander, you can have your feelings, I respect your feelings, but, until you're willing to be a grown up about this, I suggest you don't come back" Its hard to say, but I have to be strong, as much as I'd like to see the back of Faith, Will has a point, and its about time we give her a chance

"You're sticking up for _her_?" he asks incredulously "She tried to kill you!"

**FAITH POV**

I just returned to Revello Drive from slaying out my frustrations, and they're all fighting about me. I feel bad, they shouldn't be fighting over me, I know I wasn't going to be welcomed with open arms, but I don't want this division.

I make my presence known by clearing my throat and leaning against the door frame, oh yeah, slick.

"He has a point B; I tried to kill all of you." I sadly smile at her "I knew me being here wasn't going to be easy, but I don't want all of you fighting about me." I straighten up a little, try to look a little firmer "One thing though, I'm in Sunnydale to stay, unless I hear differently from the Watcher's Guild." I stop and snicker to myself, Guild, such a stupid name, and notice I'm the only who gets the joke. Right. Inappropriate.

"Faith, step down, this isn't your fight." Buffy say, emphasising the word isn't, I can actually feel the anger pouring off her. I know she can sense me sensing her, and by the look of it, its just making her madder, and well, it just confuses the fuck out of me.

"No B, This _is_ my fight. Xander I'm not gonna say I agree with Red and B about the whole 'you aren't welcomed here' thing, cos frankly, out of me and you, you deserve to be here hella more. So I'm gonna go downstairs, pack my bags and go to the Motel. But Xander, One day, you are going to have to realise that the Faith that hurt you and the Faith standing in front of you are two different people." Now he just looks angrier, this dude has some quality rage happening.

"Faith." He says my name like it is a disease, he puffs his chest out a little more before continuing "I am never going to forgive you, not in this lifetime, or the next"

"Dude, you don't think I know that? I know all of it, I know what I can never have but I also know I wanna try and make up for some of the shit I have done. Me sitting in jail for 10 years is not gonna help and _me,_ I'm in a position to help people. So, I'm not going to sit here and worry about how you don't forgive me, maybe I'll do that after I have forgiven myself" he looks shocked, even a flash of compassion washes over him, but that compassion is gone before anyone else realises it

"Red, I'm sorry, I know you woulda liked me to stay closer but I can't do this" I point around the room, it's all too much. B coming home and all this Xander stuff is just, too hard, too soon.

"You realise you still have your apartment" I register what Red just told me, and without realising I start to trace my hand over the scar. I smirk a little.

"Thanks Red, but I don't think I'm ready for that little section of memory lane yet." I tell her, trying to remain cool, calm and collected "I'll stick to flea bag motels; I'll be out of here before you know it" I smile a little, trying to show that this really is OK, and lean away from the door frame, ready to make a move to the basement.

**BUFFY POV**

Oh she thinks it will be that easy to get out of here. Not likely!

"Hold it right there!" My voice doesn't show as much anger, and a little to much emotion than I would like. But it has the desired affect; Faith stops and turns giving me her best 'well what now' look.

"You just stood here, saying how you need to forgive yourself, saying you have changed, but you are doing the exact thing that the 'old' Faith would be doing, you're running! Xander will deal with this, but you are staying here and you are going to do this right."

"How can you say that? All my presence is doing here is creating fights; you think I want to go back to that motel? You think I would want that?"

My thoughts are sent back to that hotel room, and how dank and just gross it was. I guess nobody would want that.

**FAITH POV**

"You knew this was not going to be easy, you said so yourself, did you expect everyone to welcome you with open arms? No, so grow up and for once in your life, be the Slayer."

No matter how many god damn years I have been gone, she still sits a top of her pedestal with that holier-than-thou attitude. I make eye contact with Red, and notice how scared she looks, it dawns on me, I haven't proven anything yet, and if I'm out of their sight, its just going to make it easier for them to blame everything on me.

I nod to myself slightly, satisfied with my own reasoning for wanting to stay here, I swallow the lump of anger in my throat and answer.

"Ok" Is all I say, you know, big O little k. They all get it though. The grin Red is giving me proves that. I look around to see Xander's reaction, only to have him angrily push past me. I roll my eyes a little and noticed B looks like she is going to blow a gasket. I really should go after him, try and be all grown up.

"Whatever. I'm out of here, I can believe you guys!" with that Xander slams the door

"Red…" I leave my statement open, as I point from me to the door.

She nods and says 'Go' while pointing in Xan-mans general direction

"Just, don't hurt him, he may be stupid, but he is our stupid." She finishes with a little smile and nod.

"Yo, I'm not promising anything." I laugh slightly as I walk to the door, with a quick look over my shoulder; I notice B stepping forward a little and Red stopping her.

Ya know, Red is starting to grow on me, I think this is the start of, well, something involving trust and friendship, minus the hair braiding though, not much into braiding.

I look both ways down Revello Drive. I spot Xander a little way down the street, dawdling and kicking a stray can

I break into a quick jog to catch up to him. When I stop though, I'm dumbfounded at what the hell I am going to say to him.

He knows I'm here but choses to ignore my presence.

"Yo, Xander stop a second!" Ok not the best opening line, better than stop or I will break your legs which was also an option

"Why Faith? So you can rub it in?" He sneers at me

"No, so I can, well, try and make it better" And with that, he stops, giving me his undivided attention.

"Go ahead, this should be good."

**TBC**

**Read and Review! Lemme know what you think! **


	5. Ashes to Ashes

FAITHS POV

Things didn't start out well; it took a good half an hour to even get him to actually listen properly, without insults and anger.

So for the past hour me and Xander have been talking at the front of a park near B's house, I never thought that out of all the Scooby's he would be the one I opened up to first, I knew it would happen eventually but after the other days performance I didn't think it would be him, Red maybe, even Dawny, but not him. It started off pretty rocky, with Xander not wanting to hear anything I had to say, but slowly he is starting to listen to some of what I was saying, what my childhood was like, that my psychologist in jail believed my anger issues originated from the physical, mental and sexual abuse I had received on a daily basis for 6 years of my life, and that brings us to now, I had just finished telling Xander about my Mums Boyfriend after my father left, and how the sexual abuse started on my 8th birthday, he looked stunned but I can still see he doesn't know how to take it, I really didn't expect anything else, The anger is starting to rise in him again, I hope I can diffuse this situation before it gets out hand, I know what he is about to say 'that doesn't excuse anything' and I know it doesn't, so I better tell him that.

"Xander, I need you to understand, I am not telling you this to get sympathy from you I just want you to understand some of the reasons behind my madness, and I know that my fucked up past does not excuse me from the fucked up things I have done, realistically I should have appreciated Buffy and the rest of you when the chance arose to have a semi normal life, for a slayer anyway, but one of the only things I learnt was, well, don't trust nobody."

As Xander turns to me, ready to say somethin he gets picked up and dragged by some nasty looking Vamp, cos yeah, why not, It is a Tuesday in Sunnydale.

"Would a simple 'Excuse me I want to kill you now' have been so hard?" with those words he snarls at me, drops Xander and lunges at me, stupid Vamp. I manage to stake him without too much of a hassle

"Pft, Newbie" I comment "Dude, are you ok?" he looks ok so far, if anything I think his ego is hurt more than anything.

XANDERS POV

Its weird, I have this wash of emotions going over me right now, Anger, Surprise, Guilt, Hurt, Happiness and Thankfulness, is thankfulness even a word??? But Anger is way up there, how did Faiths parents allow all that to happen to her? Why didn't Faith tell us this the first time? Things may have been so different, where would we all be now? I can't dwell on it though, can't live in the past, doing that does nothing for my future, the last thing Anya needs to see while I am trying to win her back is me all droopy over Faith. And now, well now I am going to do something I told myself I would NEVER do….

"Yeah, I am Fine, but I have a few things I need to say, so please let me finish, Firstly, a big thank you for saving my ass back there, I appreciate it because I enjoy breathing, Secondly, why didn't you tell us back then? So many things could have been so different. I'm willing to give you a shot though, I believe what you've said, I do, but, honestly, it's gonna take time.

FAITHS POV

"I couldn't tell you guys back then, I was majorly fucked up and before I could get help from other people I needed to admit to myself that I needed help, telling all of you would have been admitting weakness, and that's somethin I have only realised in the past year is ok to do. I was a jerk Xander and I am honestly and truly sorry."

*****1230 AM – 2 HOURS LATER*****

I am finally making my way back to The Summers Residence, Xander and Myself sat and spoke about everything from Death to Superman, I haven't felt so close to someone in a long time, and ya know what? It feels good. As I stumble into the house I see the light on in the Kitchen, I am assuming I have a few people waiting up for me, they know this would be a major test for me. As I walk in I see Buff, huh, unexpected, but somehow it makes sense.

"Waiting up for me B?"

"Flatter your self much, F?" her words are spoken quickly and heatedly but there is no anger there, she seems really sad, I know I should ask her if she is ok, but I also know it would mean shit, so the best thing I can do, is to leave her be

"Yup that's me Flatter-yourself central" with that I turn and head down towards the basement door and a metre before I am at the door I turn around

"Good-Night B…" she smiles for a moment as if she is remembering a past joke, but that fades as quick as it came and in the split second my heart breaks into a million pieces, the torment I have inflicted on this girl by simply being here, it hurts more than any knife could. My own smile fades as she looks at me with eyes full of confusion; I cry out to myself a million times over that _I am sorry B_, like my own little chant, and I promise myself that I will make it better.

"Night Faith"

"If you ever want to talk about B, no matter what time, I will listen" as I say this I try to put on my most solemn face, the last look I get of her for the night is her mouth slightly open, as if in shock, I know she understands what I mean, that this has nothing to do about me and her but her, singular. My thoughts are confirmed as I make my descent of the stairs with her almost silent _'Thank You Faith, Welcome Home' _with those five words I feel the first Faith-Like grin appear on my face for what seems like eternity, and I know, I know everything will be ok.

***** 7 AM *****

My dreams last night were fantastically weird, they consisted of mainly B and myself in all sorts of positions and as I wake up I realise that I am not only totally wet but extremely horny and as my hand wanders south my mind wanders to all the visions I had last night. I allow my own hands to start mirroring the exact actions B used in my dream, but before I can get too carried away I feel a presence, someone is coming towards the door, my hand starts to move faster, I'm achin to release some of this tension, my thumb circles hardly around my clit, pushing me closer to cumming, as the door handle starts to turn I feel myself going over the edge, I finally cum with a load groan as I see Willow opening the door

"Morning Watcher-Gal" I croak out

"Morning Faith, I'm-a guessin things with you and Xander worked out all dandy last night?"

"Yeah they went pretty good..." I start, not sure how to sum up last night

"Good to hear. You want to come up-stairs for breaky?"

"Sure, be there in a sec" as she closes the door I hop out of bed and dash to the sink to tidy myself up a little. I get ready in a flash, taking the stairs 2 at a time. As I open the door I am greeted with Willow, Buffy and Dawn. I sit down at the table we all exchange good mornings and all those pleasantries. And I can't help but look at B, she amazes me, and I don't think she understands how much. I'm getting all wet again just thinking about her fucking sexy body, I have to stop… Just as I am about to go mad with the noise that all the silence is making, Willow speaks up

"So how did you sleep Buffy? Your first night back and all"

"It was really good; had some strange dreams though" she mentions and shudders

"Slayer related????" Willows excitement amuses us all slightly, some things never change

Buffy gulps and laughs slightly "That's a Definite No" with that she looks at me with a crooked little smile on her lips and as if simultaneously we both realise it

Buffy and I shared that dream…

* * *

So, like, 18 years between updates, trying to get back into the swing of this story, after, like, asshole writers block. Lemme know what you think.


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